"Be still and know that I am God"

16 days
That's how long we have before Thom and I are on a plane to Uganda.

As excited as I am....I'll admit, I'm also a little afraid.

Afraid of being away from my children for so long
Afraid of going through the process alone once Thom leaves to come home
Afraid the judge will say no
Afraid of flying home alone with both girls if he says yes
But mostly afraid that I will rely too much on myself and not enough on Him

I've been in this place before.  3 months ago as I walked to my dad's hospital room,  the fear was so intense that I thought my legs would give out.  I could hardly breathe. Fear paralyzed me as I waited to open his door, knowing what was waiting on the other side.  It was time to say goodbye.... and God held me up. He reminded me to breathe.

Why do I forget so easily? Why do I doubt that He will do it again?

"and He said to them,"Why are you afraid? O' you of little faith?"  Then He rose and rebuked the winds and the sea and there was a great calm."  ~Matthew 8:26

....a great calm.  I feel like I have been in the midst of that calm for months now, while the waves are crashing all around me.

It's a good place to be.
In the palm of His hand.

That's right where I want to stay.

When fear begins to creep in, I have to remember that this is His story...not mine.  Whatever happens will be for His glory.

A few weeks away from my husband and children here is a small price to pay if it means two little girls get a family and a home. 

Just writing this post has actually encouraged me and made me feel less afraid.  I don't know what the next few months are going to look like, but I do know that life is meant to be lived!
Fear should make us take action, not keep us from moving forward. 

So, with that said...Let the adventure begin!

"soon"

Since Uganda is 7 hours ahead, I eagerly check my email every morning hoping to see that long awaited email containing our affidavit sitting in my inbox. It's been 3 weeks since we were told it would be ready soon. "Soon" obviously doesn't mean the same in Uganda--ha! This is the only thing sitting between us and filing for a court date right now.  It is hard to believe that it has been almost a month of waiting for one piece of paper!

The good thing is our dossier will be heading over to Uganda on the 14th along with letters and cards that we've all written to the girls.  We have had no contact since the day I left in June and it has been really hard.  At least they will know soon that we are still waiting and haven't forgotten about them.  I am hoping we will be able to hear something from them in the next couple of weeks....maybe even be able skype!

I started school with the girls today and it was as crazy as I remembered! This will definitely make the days until we travel to Uganda fly by.

So we live life and wait....and hopefully we will hear something "soon".

A new direction...

...not with our adoption just my blog!

I started my blog so I could write and keep friends posted about our adoption but I have been thinking lately that once the girls get home it will no longer be about our adoption but about our life.

I used to think that I really had nothing to say of interest to anyone out there...and probably still don't  :) but I have realized from reading other people's blogs that I really do enjoy connecting with and reading about people with the same interests or in the same season of life as me.  There are days when I do want to share something going on in the Asta home and I want more than 140 characters or a facebook status to do it.

So I will start writing more about what it's like to be a stay at home, homeschooling mom of 3,  anxiously awaiting the arrival of 2 more little girls from Uganda. A mom who loves to run but never seems to have time... and I may from time to time talk about how wonderful my husband is....just because :)

A post wouldn't be complete without an adoption update.

...we are still waiting on that affidavit!  Hoping it shows up in my inbox this week. I really miss those girls!

Nesting

We heard from our lawyer in Uganda over the weekend and the investigation of the girls is complete!  We should be getting our affidavit to sign...soon.  I think this is something we sign stating our intentions to adopt. Paternal and maternal family members from the girls also must sign these.  "Soon" could mean this week or next week, but since we are talking about Uganda, I am expecting it the week after that :) Once we get this signed, we will send over all of our paperwork to our attorney and wait for a court date(s)!
    
                                       We are getting close!!

With this new information I have decided to finally start getting the rooms ready for our new additions. It feels a lot like the nesting I did during the last month or so of each of my pregnancies.  Right now Ava and Gabi are sharing a room so yesterday we spent all afternoon cleaning out the guest room to get it ready for Ava to share with her new sister.  Of course, the whole upstairs is turned upside down and now I need to figure out what to do with all the stuff I was storing in the closet that room!


The girls picked out pillows for their new rooms yesterday, so now we have a color scheme to go with.

Next on the list is new bunk beds, paint, comforters....you know, all the fun stuff!  This should keep us me pretty busy the next month or so!